Do you mind?
Arahmaiani (This paper is based on an unsent letter to Jamie McMurry)
Dear Jamie,
I have lived a nomadic life for more than the past 20 years, during which I worked as an artist employing many different mediums: performance art, video, installation, painting, drawing, dance, music, and poetry. I also write essays on art & cultural issues. Since the beginning of my career I have always endeavoured to ‘seek possibilities’ and I have always attracted to the idea of “change” which makes people often question my art-works: is it art? Is it a ‘real-and-correct’ process and approach towards art? Often my work is categorized as experimental art. Whatever this means I do not really care as I know the art-world is a mess of labels and a seductive marketplace.
I guess my life path and my art-work might be described as two parallel lines that are strongly connected. I try to express what I am experiencing in the aesthetic level as a totality, reflecting the fact that I am a human being of various dimensions. For me art and life are like the source and the end of the river. I endeavour to understand life as it is and I place art as the catalyst of this understanding process.
Of course it has not been easy growing up as a woman and an artist in the Moslem dominated patriarchal and also militaristic society of Indonesia. There have been handicaps and pressures set against me. There have been many barriers that I have had to break through and ties that I have had to sever to be able to stand up and speak on behalf of myself.
In the early 80’s at the beginning of my art-school years I felt let down by the educational system because in my opinion it did not bear relation to real life. So with some friends, I began to ‘go to the street’ and we created art works that we called ‘easy-art’ which later on I discovered is called ‘performance art’. We called our work ‘easy-art’ to make it distinct from the ‘difficult-art’ which was being taught in the academy. Basically what we did was a hybrid of art and social-political activism. These activities went smoothly until 1983 when I was arrested by the military. Eventually I was given conditional release but the condition was such a burden to me. I felt that I was robbed of my liberty and this later compelled me to move to Australia. The experience of living in Sydney and living face-to-face with a different culture made me question issues of identity and my own cultural roots.
At the end of 1986 I return to my country and began to make ‘underground’ activities and continue my experiments with art, while also I began to study the roots of my traditions and cultures particularly the cultures of Java and Hinduism. I began more and more interested in the use of body as media of expression. I think that the poverty I was enduring as a young artist also compelled me to ‘employ’ my body more in my art. I also began to employ ‘found object’ as starting points for ‘uncontrolled philosophical explorations into unknown territory’. I began to make more activities on the street with marginal street groups. I guess this was because I was also a person marginalized and thrown out of my society. At that time I did not know what I wanted to do exactly I only knew that I felt extremely nauseated by establishment and hypocrisy in life.
Between these years till around 1993 I guess were the years in which I learned to concoct, experimenting with my life and my art. Around this time I also received a scholarship to study in Holland which I accepted as an opportunity to further learn about modern art and Western/European culture. I tried to penetrate barriers and escape from controls. I tried to create a personal formula or aesthetics which did not follow what was perceived to be the norm. In the traditions of Indonesia’s modern art since the 1940’s it has been normal for artist to address social and political issues in their work. This was however, only true in respect to male artist, while the very few woman artist would tend to work on figurative themes like mother and child, flowers, or maybe horses and in some cases abstract painting and sculpture. However during the last decade or so a new development has brought many female artists who work with woman’s issues to the fore.
In 1994 I began to produce critical works addressing the ideas of gender and religion. My solo exhibition in Jakarta, titled “Sex, Religion and Coca Cola” received vehement protest from the Islamic hardliners who threatened to drink my blood. Once more I felt that I was in danger and was compelled to move, this time once more to Australia. Before I left there was a public discussion held that was attended by many artist, activist, philosophers & young religious figures but the talk did not get to discussing the ideas I had set forth, seemingly because of ‘moral issues’ that came to the fore seemed to need ‘protection’. Since then I began to study comparative religions more. Actually I am not looking for much to understand, I do not intend to become an expert in these matters. I merely want to understand how religions give meaning to the human body and the meaning and position of the woman.
After staying one year in Australia I return to Indonesia for a while – but because I did not see any change and still felt threatened I decided to seek out possibilities of living in South East Asia region. So I set off to Thailand with the object of also studying Buddhism in my mind. However when I got there (I lived there approximately for 2 years). I hung out more with activist artists than with monks. I began to weave a network of artists in Asia Pacific region, which was named Asia Pacific Artist Solidarity. At this time I was thinking a lot about ideas on how to develop the creativity of the societies further development of individual creativity. Working with Thai artists we organised art and cultural activities. (Usually at nighttime we would meet and talk in the Chatuchak market, in a bar called Ruang Peung. I remember one night I was very drunk from drinking and eating cricket snacks and the next day I felt I should go to the temple and ask forgiveness from the cricket family).
My experience in Los Angeles where I was arrested and guarded by a member of the security forces in my own hotel room in 2003 only served to strengthen my convictions of this matter. It is true, there are pariah classes in hierarchy of this world and I am one of them, may be it is felt that we are a burden and it is hoped that we will extinct soon. To this day I still experience the feeling of shock and disappointment whenever I remember those events in LA even though I know compared to what has happened to others, my case was insignificantly mild.
The September 11 happening did change the world including my small world. Ever since that day I have been categorized as Moslem woman artist and of course this bring about particular consequences. I myself do not like being categorized like this because it tends to place a stigma, while merely I want to be a free person who speaks on my own name. If I question the practice and the values within my society or within the religion of Islam it should neither mean I am anti-Islam nor should it mean I am pro-West. Or if I would criticise the economic system as a capital oligarchy or the neo-liberal ideology as sucks, it should also not mean that I am anti-West and that I am defending Islam. I truly do not intend to defend anyone.
The ‘Reformasi’ era arrived – there were many upheavals and confusions in all lines of life (including also in my own head). It was as if people were disoriented by the new freedoms and did not know how to utilize it, while on the other hand hopes rose like sunrise. I changed my working strategy and began to work with groups of young artist all over big cities in Java and also in the countryside. I weaved networks and wrote in the media. Together with a group of friends who were united by similar ideas began to make works that “cross boundaries” – meaning crossing boundaries of scientific disciplines, class, beliefs, and generations, in around Yogyakarta and Magelang in Central Java. It was a new experimental project aim at finding new possibilities in communicating and interacting with Indonesia’s plural society which has lost the foundations of its old system and has yet to find a new one.
I began to work with Chinese Indonesian business people particularly those who like to collect art. I organised several art and cultural activities for the public in which the different components of society could meet. These activities would not have been possible under the old New Order regime. I also began to form working art groups with members from different religions. I began to create group performance works with the community in which I work and live (and this work is still on going to this day)
The Reformasi era was led by a civilian government which consisted of many leaders of Islam with their party basses, at the beginning appeared solid enough. Many hoped that these leaders could pull Indonesia out of the crisis but after leading for a wobbly five years it has proved that these hopes for now shall remain as hopes. When last year for the first time Indonesia conducted a general election in which the President was chosen directly by the electorate, it was proven that the majority of the society preferred to elect a military general from the old New Order. So wit a heavy heart and feeling of disappointment I must accept and begin to believe that the endeavours for reform in my country have failed. To be fair I must also say that when I observe the society to ask whether or not there have been social and cultural changes in the last five years, I can say that yes, there have been changes, but corruption is still rampant and in some sectors it has worsened. The most important change is that now alternative voices may be heard. Under Soeharto this was only a dream (however for how long will this situation be maintained) – I do not know)
While working in my country I am also actively working with groups of young progressive activist artist and with feminist groups in Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, Thailand, China, Korea, and Japan. We exchange a lot of information and ideas on globalisation and gender and every now and then create activities as a group. I enjoy the intellectual mental activities and liked it when someone clever speaks with enthusiasm. But I have to admit these discussions on globalisation more often leave me feeling frustrated rather than enlightened. The same things happen with discussions on gender – to be honest they tend to make me angry. I guess I must lessen the frequency of these discussions and concentrate more time on actions. I also still often receive invitations to attend festivals and exhibitions in many countries – but I do not know how long I will be able to be ‘marketed’ in this type of art world. Of course I enjoy these activities, I like to meet new friends and exchange ideas and see interesting works.
I still remember when we met at that festival. I liked your work and wanted to discuss it further with you. I don’t know why I felt like I did, maybe it was just nervous, worry, maybe it was fear. I do not know what precisely I was feeling at that time. I did not know what you would think of me as a Moslem (even though you were very friendly towards me) and I found it too difficult to discuss this question. I don’t know. It was like there was an imaginary curtain making a border between us and I did not have the strength to penetrate through. I guess we should never underestimate the power of propaganda and the power of media.
I admit I do not know what precisely is going on and what scenario is being played out, but Indonesia’s history in relation to America is a dark history. One thing that is noted in my memory is that the support and the blessing of America means that the Indonesian powerful elite may employ violence randomly and the common people often become victims of the interests of those in power. How was it that in the Cold War era, in order to strengthen democracy up to one million people were given identities as communists and slaughtered in the name of security? The case of East Timor over 200.000 died in the name of national stability. These are absurd realities and logical illogicalities which I can understand but I can never accept. Why can’t people have different ways of thinking? Why do the powers that be always want to control ways of thinking? Why is violence always used to destroy liberty? These might be stupid questions, but I guess because I believe that human being are fully entitled to the freedom of their thought and imagination, I suppose I will never tired of always bringing up these questions.
In a flash a thought entered my head: what happens to dissident today? In this age of globalisation where no place is unreachable anymore, where will they be sent? I asked my friend these questions and he seemed a little taken aback but he answered, well maybe they will be exiled to another planet. I said that it would take too much preparation and the cost would be too high. I think that they will choose to send the dissidents straight to Heaven instead. Just like what happened to my friend the activist Munir last year. To this day this murder still makes me angry and disappointed.
Well, I think I should end this letter here. I really hope that we can meet soon and discuss directly how Americans view and practise their religion.
